SEX MATTERS

Frequently Asked Questions

I’m a guy, and I’m not a rapist, why do I need to know about sexual assault?

While the statistics for women are more significant than the statistics for men, this does not make sexual assault strictly a women’s issue. Sexual assault affects us all. Each of us interacts daily with women, and with the statistics telling us that so many women will be victims, it is important that we recognize how sexual assault affects a person, and was we can do to assist in her recovery process.

Additionally, in situations where men are the victims of sexual assault, it is important that we recognize the type of support needed by these members of our community, and what we can do to help his recover process.

What can I do if someone discloses a sexual assault to me?

Allow and encourage the victim to make decisions whenever possible.

Encourage sharing of feelings, but don’t press for details or force a discussion.

Communicate your understanding, acceptance, and support.

Direct the victim to the Sex Matters website

What can I say to someone who has been sexually assaulted?

“No one deserves to be assaulted. This was not your fault. You did not deserve to be sexually assaulted.”

“Whatever you did to survive the situation was the right thing to do.”

“I believe you. It was not your fault. This was something that someone did TO you.”

“Regardless of____________, (how you were dressed, how much you drank, if you were flirting, what you did prior to the sexual assault, etc.) there is no excuse for sexual assault. You did not deserve this.”

“That must have been a very unsettling/scary/confusing/uncomfortable/frightening experience.”

“You are not crazy. You are reacting normally to a difficult situation.”

“It doesn’t make a difference if you consented to do other things sexually with this person. You said “no” to this part, and that person did not respect you. You have the right to change your mind at anytime when you are with someone.”